My Memorandums.

Fly to me.
21/01/2009, 11:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have this journal, so I may as well use it, right?

Well, Truth be told, I feel very pissed off and annoyed and angry, and annoyed!  Do you know why? WELL, IF YOU EVER DO HAPPEN TO FIND OUT, PLEASE, LET ME KNOW, BECAUSE I HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA!  A lot of unresolved issues, I’m assuming, actually, I’m sure.  The days keep rolling, going on and on, and I really have no recollection of what the hell I’ve been doing, or what’s been going on.  People ask me, ‘Hey Rose, what have you been up to?’ Honestly, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what I’ve been doing.  Bumming around, I know.  And when the stress comes, believe me, so does the reckless, emotional eating, and none of that makes me feel any better, of course.

I need more friends, that’s definitely true!  That’s why people find the transfer from High School to Uni or Work Life so difficult.  Because they’re not surrounded by loving friends, or people, everyday.  I don’t find many people with who I can be myself, completely, naturally, comfortably.  Maybe I should do more.  I should just be myself.  I have a tendency to become melancholic though, and that doesn’t help the situation at all.  I think that needs to be controlled, and slowly changed.

Also, I have no idea what I want to do this year.  I’m 19.  I studied at Uni last year, and I had a very bad year.  As a result, my grades were also really bad (I mean, really bad).  So, anyway, I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  I’m in a very broad ‘Bachelor of Arts’ and I don’t want to waste my time.  I know I want to make a change (I’ll know it clearer when this sadness slowly makes its way out of me).  I think I’ll transfer into Psychology (Okay, remember my name so you guys won’t come to me in the future, I’ll screw you up, you know it as well as I do just by reading this post).  But don’t worry, I plan on doing Child Psychology.  I don’t really know if this is what I want to do.  My mind is not clear or calm at all.  At all.  I’d like to go meditate.  (I don’t do Yoga, though I would like to start).

Okay, all jokes aside.  Let’s get a little serious about this.  What do I want to do?  (I breathe)

I want to be happy.

I want to love.

I know I want to help people, because I’m really helpful when I’m myself.

I think, above all, what I want right now is to deal with these unresolved issues, if there even are any, and be myself again.

I just want to be happy.  It takes practice.  I promise.

Much love to everybody,

Rose. 🙂


6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

i’ve been there. dancing has saved my life on more than one occasion, which is why i’ve done it for so long. i reccomend bellydancing 🙂 of everything i have trained in, it has boosted both my physical strength and my faith in myself.

PLUS you meet great gals who will be your friends for life 🙂

Comment by rebelderojo

I’m assuming I’ll meet great people!
You do bellydancing? OHHH MAANNNNNNN, I LOVEEEEEEEE BELLYDANCING! AND I LOVE BELLYDANCERS! (SO HOT! – I like em with some meat, and I like the ethnic ones. I live in Aus, and over here, even Aussies do it – which is good, great, you know, if they wanna do it, go for it – But I looovvee the ones who have it in their blood! when its part of their culture, so sexy!!)
What nash are you?

I think I’ll go for some bellydancing, and some hip hop, and maybe some popping (if I can handle that!)

Comment by mymemorandums

lol.. you will have fun. happiness does take practice… that much is very very true.

Comment by rebelderojo

I think you just take up as many group-activities as possible. Because, well you’re going to meet people with the same interests and it’s a great way to make friends.
^_^ You’ll be happy soon, no worries. It’s bound to happen. Good luck! :]

Comment by Firerocket

thanks very much 🙂

Comment by mymemorandums

wow long time no see

sorry to see youre having a rough time.. it will get better!

maybe look into social work

(disclaimer: i am a social work major ^_^ )

Comment by douglaskev

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